Wednesday, September 19, 2007
11:32 PM

i took a wrong bus again!!
well i seriously dunno wat is going on recently, like many things weird have been kept happening....
like the bus i took today, i saw it was 12!! but slowly slowly it drove to the other way.....oh well, luckily it drove me back to bedok at least.....never mind!


but still



im worried!





well...today i heard something when sitting on the bus, and this sentence just caught my sttention------a good leader leads by examples>>


i used to be a good one, but that was PAST!! so nothing to be proud of !!
not now.....sadly :( i have to admit the fact that im a really lousy leader....with poor self- discipline.....well i guess im just temporarily trapped inside a vicious cycle, and im trying so hard to get myself out of it. dun really wanna say much about it.....

thr are so many things keep running through my minds, and they make me lost, LOST....

guess today will be a long post......

im not good

though im smiling....truly, smile, is to hide the pains....that's so fake. but who wanna expose their own weaknesses anyway.

whenever i sleep, thr is just this feeling disturbing me that when am i going to wake up again?
im like dying while sleeping, well tis is nt a joke. the feeling of dying freak me out all the time, and im scare of go to sleep. but

im too tired.

whatever moments coming to me now will nt be easy....nobody can imagine
so i guess u also wont be understand.

but just pray that i will live through it, peacefully at least.

pray the lord :)

moments of loss are nt that bad actually, im trying to loss sth which seems to be important to me.....

put salts onto the wounds, that is how my heart feels....

guess after this year,

i will be stronger.....

mentally torturing is millions worse than physically.

so dun ever take the risk to try it, at least i dun wanna try it for the second time.

honestly, im hiding all those away from my parents, nt making them worried as they will be greatly shocke upon hearing all those...i will bear with them alone

my spirit is yelling: i wanna survive through, survive and survive....

looking at the world at this angle may not be the best,
neither is the worst.

so be positive, and

never give up wat you suppose to get/have.

jia you :)

[ this is how it all started* ]